Yabancı

I am yabancı. The Turkish word for foreigner, yabancı, is derived from the word yaban meaning savage. Just as the ancient Greeks would refer to foreigners as barbarians, the Turks, at least linguistically, consider those unlike themselves to be savages.
I am just such a savage. I am uncouth and at times, yes, even barbarous to these people. For instance, I rarely anounce my gratitude with the force of a Turk. Turks generally entone thanks with an epic sequence of thank yous--çok sağ olun, teşekkür ederim. My short thank yous rarely measure up.
Aside from my failure to express proper gratitude, my appearance can often offend the refined Turk. It has always been my manner to spend as little of my own money on clothes as possible. The great majority of my wardrobe is composed of either gifts or give-aways that family and friends were kind enough to contribute. Of these pieces of vestiture I customarily find a favorite and wear it to tatters. This habit does not mesh well with the Turks. At the work place I am hopelessly out of place. The men are clad in the finest dandy manner. And the women? Well with their six-inch heels and perfectly applied makeup they strut through the school halls like a movie star on a red carpet. Then there's me. Wearing the same frayed and frazzled pants for a week, I probably look more like a hobo than a teacher.
The list goes on but to avoid any more self defamation I will make an end to my examples. What I've come to recognize in these two short years is the impossibility of socialization at an old age. I am savage and will forever remain as much. My social programing runs deep and cannot merely be uprooted and modified even with the greatest of effort. It is there, below the surface, and it persists.
It thus comes as little surprise that the impulse both indigenous and foreign to reprogram Turkish society that has been de riguer in Istanbul since the 19th century has failed to secularize and nationalize the great majority of Anatolians. Even though traditional Islam seemed to have been expunged under the auspices of Kemalism, it remained below the surface and continues as the most viable political and social force for mobilization in Turkey. Tribalism endures in eastern Turkey and defies the forces of nationalism. Kurdish separatism resists fracturing Turkish solidarity despite incessant military interventions. The foreigner, whether he be American, Kurdish, Islamist, or Kemalist, congregates in Istanbul in the very convergence of continents and reminds us that we may forever remain savage.